June got the groceries - I hope to make a working aeroplane from the discarded wrappings. 

I found my dinner cast up on the beach; I put a light bulb on my head and lit up.
 

While travelling in a transparent tunnel, miles above ground, I remembered how to turn six into nine.  Unfortunately the leader of the band had to leave early or I would have sung myself a song.

Incidentally, I was told in a dream how to keep snakes in a handbag - the handbag is on a turntable and revolves three times a minute.

When I finally escaped from the tower - having hid in a hanging basket which is winched down every night for watering - I stumbled into a garden planted entirely of eggs; hard boiled and fried.

I answered the telephone and spoke to myself.

I came home on a motorised pogo stick; hitting my head repeatedly on the underpass roof.  When I arrived I became a cloud and floated over the town which, I hadn't realised before, was laid out on a snooker table.  I pulled a game of scrabble from my pocket and invented a word.

I had to spend some time looking over empty fields so I placed a coffin in a small purpose built church and blew it up.  There would be a large screen slow motion replay.

I walked back to the car, which had been stretched to several hundred yards long; there was a girl standing alone - I knew instantly that she came from a far distant space.

On walking home I pictured a silent call floating over the town like a third moon.  I had previously invented an artificial moon that hung over the garden and howled at dogs - the patent is pending.

I opened the door and found a ship anchored in the living room.

I made a working model of a woman from parts of an old crane and turned my library into a bridge; across which I went to collect free range eggs before the local youths used them in seige catapults.  They have been surrounding a house on broomsticks for some time.  I am not worried as I know it can cast off it's clothes and fly if need be.

The snail on the smoking pipe in the garden had a bungalow on it's back.  I put out some modest sized houses for the birds.

An afternoon in my studio, where I made a copy of the Venus de Milo from frog spawn, and an evening in the Lions Den with David.  We didn't have time to talk but exchanged arcane truths using sign language.

At home, I ate salad from a casserole dish and watched fish swim in a deserted television set.

We went out for a meal in the evening.  June sat under a saucepan of stars while I sat on a compost heap and drunk beer with a straw.

While hanging from the curtains at the end of the day I heard voices from the past.

I was expecting rain to descend several clear plasic pipes I had planted in the garden.  However, a strange coloured liquid rose up instead.  I decided this was some kind of sermon so I hummed a tune - as did the dog.

I went down the road pulling a cheese pie in a weather sock.  I knew which way the wind was blowing before I entered the building.  This was heated even though it was very hot outside.
 

While out walking in the afternoon I noticed that all the snake trees had started to grow again.  I looked forward to anaconda fruit. A mouth in the road said: "It is reasonable to believe that all life is just scum on the surface of the true reality".  Poppy chased leaves.

Later I drew connected shapes in the living room and ate a pyramid.

In the evening I slept (standing up) while myriads of people went backwards and forwards carrying empty boxes.  I later took the precaution of digging a trench in the middle of the room; however, no one came - not even an Ancient Egyptian Pharoah who I had been expecting for ages.

The end of the day was acted out as an Easter Island Head standing in the corner of the room looking at a blank screen.  Every now and then a mouth would appear in the middle of the screen; however if you approached it would turn into a typewriter and you would enter the spoken words - then stand back aghast at it's effrontery.

In a dungeon in the evening, handing out soup.  A gorilla in a human suit came up and pretended to be Shakespeare.  I pretended to be Prospero.

NB. When I was a teenager I had a best friend called Plant.

Out in the afternoon to a place where fairies used to roam. Sadly, I saw nothing out of the ordinary, although the traffic ground to a halt when a birthmark appeared in the road.  The mark looked like a  snail with a window in it.  When someone opened the window an old lady holding a dead fish climbed out.  The fish was resuscitated in a bowl of water that, thankfully, I happened to be balancing on my head.

In the evening I was in a room that doubles as the eye that can see everything.  Unfortunately, I had forgotten my glasses.

I first had to go to town to push a rolled up newspaper into the mouth of one of the heads that had recently appeared. The one I chose was next to the bridge where people are supposed to let their hair down.  I climbed up the strongest strand of hair I could find and entered the next chapter of the book.  In this book I am no longer the knight but turn out to be the dragon called Churchill.  I am so big, people climb me like a hill.

Rain poured down the hill at the end of the day.

In the purpose built theatre I produced a standing still dance; even the audience were not allowed to move.  To make sure of this, the only people invited were made of plastic.  I ran off with a shop mannequin; however, the relationship is entirely platonic.

I have long had a secret tree as a muse; I write poetry for it which has to be recited when buried underground.

As part of my vocation I painted a series of dots on a large white hankerchief; each dot represented a person.  I put the hankerchief in my pocket and pulled out a bottle: fish were swimming inside. 

I made a boat so that I could bend pipes inside like intestines. I lightly tapped on the outside and a girl swam out carrying a roof tile.

One of the stones in the amusement arcade churchyard read "I was dying for a drink so I am now buried in a bottle".

In the evening I took a bungalow out for a walk.

We went to a battlefield of spinning tops, all of which had to tumble before the day was out.  Kites danced to music under an orange sky.  Blood fell from smiling balloons.

If you walk the "hound from hell" all the trees run as you approach!

Poppy the dog wore a wing attachment and was able to attack from the air; firing a lewis gun and dropping bombs.  One of the bombs turned out to be ballot papers - another would have made me a millionaire if I replied.  As I am an iceberg sheikh I didn't bother.

A gondola swept down the canal that suddenly appeared between the sofa and the wall.

I partly found and partly made an endless ladder; formed into a perfect circle, if you climb high enough you reach the bottom.

When I finally re-appeared through the waterfall it was evening.  I had to work in a bird song factory, then the whale song place and finally the building where cardboard boxes sing.  I played a piece of wall as a musical instrument while my friend strummed on a strip of meat.  I tossed a coin and he put the bone in his pocket.

I got caught in a super spider web when practising the Indian Rope Trick but bribed the serpent guards to let me go.  I came home with new lampshades for the eye lamps that sit each side of the sofa mouth.

I wanted to become a person in a bottle but couldn't get ashore.

I found a tunnel which had appeared next to a bush with red lip leaves, I stuffed two white mice into my holsters and slowly entered.  I came out in a place where people walk with their legs in the air; they sleep upright and stand horizontal.  I brought back two packets of soft rocks as souvenirs.

By the end of the day I had made one line too light and the other line too heavy.

It was raining heavily, conscious of the empty glasses in my pocket I put up an umbrella; a number of small birds flew out - none of which noticed the note stuck in a bottle rolling down the street.  I stood in a bucket and became an island.  The bottle was washed up and I took out my pen.

Much later, I found a ladder and climbed up and down it simultaneously.

I was annoyed as I worked in the garden when a pod of dolphins emerged from the gravel, somersaulted and disappeared again in the flower beds.  I got Poppy the dog to dig a hole but she couldn't find anything - except the usual remains of a sacrificial victim with it's mummified hands bound.

When I came home I found a street of hollowed out stones, most of huge dimensions, into which windows had been cut.  I found our house (I call it Starman Towers) and pushed away the stone that blocked the hole into the hall, the dog was inside smoking a pipe.

I pulled a candle out of my pocket and plugged it in.

Outside the sky had bent down to talk to the bare earth; I couldn't help overhearing what was discussed but I put on a hat that reached down to the ground and pretended not to care.

Meteorites fell into a giant bucket suspended between clouds while I communicated with electricity pylons using semaphores.  It is a good thing it is the last day of the month!

I spent the evening moving boxes; inside the boxes there were cold winds.

Without warning a space rocket shot out of a hole in the ground and headed for the stars.

I found a space full of books which were so big it was possible to enter them.  I walked, then run and finally jumped into as many as I could.

I didn't have to go out in the evening so it was possible for me to change into an item of furniture; a favourite pastime of mine.  I decided I would be a standard lamp.  Unfortunately my bulb had become angelic and would only light in a higher state.  I stood to attention and refused to smile when american tourists photographed me holding their dog.  I had the last laugh however as when I put it down it turned into an old lady and ambled away muttering to itself.

I painted a picture while the picture simultaneously painted me.

I was annoyed when I finally got home to find that I had forgotten the stamps. This will mean a spell in the bull ring in the morning: first as the matador and then as the bull.  Cryptically, the birthday girl was sprayed gold while I engaged two mannikins in a deliberately vague discussion on immortality.

Ended the day looking at photographs of yachts; my favourite was embedded in concrete.

I made sure I was polite to all robots I met.  Robots come in a multitude of sizes; some are as big as trucks while other can sleep in your breast pocket.

It is annoying when you open a cupboard door and a large head pokes out.

The dog dressed herself in a kilt and tried tossing the caber.  I taught her to do the highland fling with caterpillar tracks attached to her feet.  We dodged the showers by becoming invisible; I haven't yet worked out all the ramifications of this feat.

I finally put a gate right in the middle of the garden and called it a sculpture.

While in my tree, I practised hanging from tolling bells; I could see for miles.

I opened a book which had been cast aside several thousand years ago and remembered the child who could read the flames.

Later, she and I explored the ancient cave system that is hidden in the black clouds that shuffle over head.  We could hear the bellows of the strange beings that live in the clouds.  The cloud shepherds traipsed after us.

The night was spent in the oldest forest in the world: all the trees were made from human hair.  I slept in a braided one; Poppy wore a wig.

Earlier I was in my underground studio, where the date is permanently 1939.  The wall are covered with lengths of rope: some you can pull, others are just knots - each one a message.  I threw down a handful of brown lines and read them.  I borrowed a moustache the chair was wearing and left the house in disquise. 

When I returned, the house was wearing dark glasses but I recognised the mole on it's cheek.  The garden had a long raincoat; one button was provocatively left undone.

The letter box was rattling; on inspection I noticed hundreds of people standing in the front garden blowing as hard as they could.  I threatened to get the mower out and they dispersed.  However, not before admiring the drain cover which was sparkling in the sunlight like a rare gem.  They didn't realise that underneath was the cockpit of a submerged spaceship which I use for shopping on Mars.

When walking downstairs I spoke to an area of wall which was recently given the gift of consciousness.

Later, I stood in a bottle with smoke coming out of the invisible hat I occasionally wear.  I opened my mouth and bubbles came out.  Someone dropped the bottle so I was then able to scurry around like a clockwork toy for most of the day.

It is prophesied that the house will be full of toads.

While talking to some friendly electric eels I was startled when a small man playing a guitar jumped out of a cake a passing terrapin was carrying.  The eels mentioned the possibility of layers of reality like cellophane. 

Out of politeness, I pulled an electricity pylon out of my top pocket and hummed a tune - unfortunately noone else knew it.

In the afternoon, the garden vanished and I was standing on bare metal which felt like it was slowly getting hotter.  I could hear music in the distance; I assumed this was a youth band of the local soldier ants.

During the evening, I almost had to dance with two drunken scarecrows but turned myself into an iron man just in time.

There was two teaspoons of rain in the afternoon which I kept in a gold chalice.  I thought about wearing a monks robe and attaching wheels to my shoes but accidentally went to sleep in a cheese roll instead.

I thought the nascent waterfall hanging over the garden would bring the frogs out but all I could find in the garden was miniature dumper trucks which endlessly raced up and down.  I offered to fit mechanical wings onto Poppy the dog so that she could chase after them; however, she ungraciously declined the offer.

I locked myself in my studio during the afternoon using a strand of my own hair.

Later in the day I was in the Samson Tea Rooms; complete with fallen pillars and broken glass.  I served myself tea and everyone else alcohol.

When I came home I curled up inside a conch shell waiting to be blown out by the invisible musicians that continuously drift by.

I had pictures of imaginary gardens in my head, which I hope to paste into a stamp album when I am young enough.

While underground I made myself a studio and did some work I could be proud of.  Much of this was done in sand.

I had planned to visit the Ladder Lands but didn't have enough time.

I used a tightrope to move between different dolls house.  The last one I alighted on had a miniature skeleton in the cupboard.

I stood in a sarsen circle while different coloured people fought.  In one corner they were red while in another they were black and white.  The police arrived in a toy car.  I retightened their elastic bands.

I went home disquised as a frog.

The afternoon was spent as a laughing cavalier; helping people made from bottles to their glass car.

I went to bed as a flower pot man; I dug a hole and planted myself.

When I got home I worked alone.  Poppy mutated into an armchair and sat on herself.

I watched flowers within flowers while June threw paper darts at her memories.

When I got home, jumping clouds across four continents to get there, I found the dog chasing dust motes (I had thought it would have married the sofa).  I pulled a rabbit out of hat and it played a tune.

In the evening I was inside a walking glass case, my arms protruding from pre-cut holes.

While jumping on a trampoline built into my studio floor I invented a form of arithmetic which only uses noughts.  This simplifies calculations - an important consideration when your head is continually hitting the ceiling.

While in the garden I built a hut for invisible animals - I am wondering now how I will know when it is being used.

During the evening I went down a tunnel and heard a heart beat.  I played the drums in a subterraean rock group before finding the light.  Unfortunately the light came from a solitary match which went out as soon as I approached it.  I turned on a torch and pushed it down my trousers.

Later in the day I had to stand on a plinth and move in slow motion.  All round me people moved as fast as they could.  I stuck out my hand and won a prize.

I came home to find my wife wearing the dog as a hat.  I clapped my hands and she gave me a bone.

I left by flying up the chimney with a chimpanzee on my back.  When we parted it continued skywards to become an airline pilot and I fell to earth and dug the garden.

I returned in the evening to living in a goldfish bowl - where everyone could blow bubbles except me.

While playing on a cold floor, a string quartet emerged from the fridge wearing bikinis and played among poles.  The plants I was dancing with eventually became wallflowers.

During the evening I moved cans of pickled specimens like pawns in a chess game.  I threw the dice and lost.

I then went out into the magical garden to make a bed of step ladders; tall ones at the back and short ones in the middle.

When I come back I notice goal posts in the living room.  The cage birds were wearing scarves.

I opened the door to a complete stranger and I was surprised when we communicated solely through smoke signals.  I put out the fire in my hat and made a cup of tea.  Notes were written on pieces of paper which we crumpled up and threw on the floor.

I gave the dog a football and she played the harp.

I then spent most of the day tied like a washing line between the walls of the Giant's castle.  However, this did not stop me from painting (using a finger nail that miraculously grew a hundred feet in length).

Later in the day I walked under a waterfall of lemmings to find the treasure of a hundred eyes.  When, eventually all were closed, I sung myself to sleep.

After a dinner of doormats I watched the spectacle of a huge umbrella coming in to land.  Once landed water gushed everywhere from holes in it's sides.

I went home to dance round the maypole with the dog before we turn it into a totem pole for the year.

I burrowed into the loose soil during the middle of the day and found the mummified remains of an ancient footballer. He played before the game was even invented.

I was annoyed when I returned to the surface that I hadn't asked for his autograph - however, I signed my book for him.

Before this I practised being a piece of turf in case I have to hide when the Martians return.  They came once before but I pretended I wasn't religious.  I did this while a perfectly accurate model of King Kong was climbing up my side.

Incidentally, I also met a knight from King Arthur's round table: he was busy cutting the barbed wire left over from the time of the Norman Conquest.

I eventually made a wig from the compost heap and walked like a dog.  The dog had discovered religion; I discovered a motorway in a suitcase.

I hear the shake of dice and one half of me climbs the ladder and the other half descends the snake.

I come back along a Scaletrix roadway, pass the standing and sitting stones to the only Indian restaurant on a desert island.  The island is in the middle of a cornfield; sea water being in short supply.

I open the paper and a hurricane blows out; I close it and a polar bear ambles up to collect it for his master.

In the morning I played as the organ grinder and in the evening I played as the monkey.

At midday I descended between poles of amber light to the subterranean honey pot.  I only got out again when I pretended to be a zombie.  When I looked back, Eurydice was still there.

I did little more than stampede in the evening.

Flames ascended  from the mountains on the edge of town.  These are glass mountains which change into glass slippers at midnight.  I spent my time as the Leaning Tower of Pisa feeding birds with crumbs of knowledge.

I came home as a paper man; holding hands with myself.

While this was happening the toy house by the sand museum confessed to being an enemy spy and was arrested.  I thought it was up to something when it insisted on calling itself the Desert Fox.

I called myself the Breakfast Cereal and poured milk in my lap.

When I got home I tied myself into a knot and turned into a cushion.

I took a hedgehog taxi home.  It's spines meant that you could (if you wish) collect letters as you travelled along.  I spat mine out before I drunk an orange.

In the distance legs pushed out of giant balls and waddled away.

In my teens I used luminous skeletons as landing lights, now I navigate my smell - despite the fact that I often incubate crocodile eggs in my cheeks.

I am hoping to one day find my childhood garden in a shopping bag so that I can take it home again.
 

The air was seen to be in strands that touch and mingle like bed sheets.  This meant the steam fans were not needed in the Piranesi village where I work.  They will be tomorrow and I could see the dwarves bringing coal to the furnaces on the way home.  These are kept burning day and night in case the flying fortresses need to light their supersonic cigarettes.

I pretend to light my walking stick but stub my toe on a miniature seaside pier attached to the kerb.

After dinner I opened a package and spoke to someone in the past.  As I put the phone down it changed into a galleon which sails the high seas.

After supper I saw the gothic mansion that occasionally appears fleetingly within the space I call my garden - one day I will knock on the door and go in.

The evening was spent in moth costume;  bumping into lights and slowly flickering out - arguing with my reflection in the mirror as I did so.

The day disappeared into the distance, walking on stilts to keep it's more tender parts safe from the baking heat.

I actually wrestled with plants all day, some of which (I believe) are not from this solar system.  I even pulled a cooking pot out from the clouds of Venus and planted some beans.

By running backwards and forwards very quickly I was finally able to converse with myself.

I am hopeful one day off finding the walking octopus which would provide the links with past days and people.  I am sure it has more than eight arms and moves backwards as well as forwards.

I went out in the evening; to a house made from Bertram Russell's arm pit.  This is where I lit a match.

As I was late in I decided to become a goblin in my studio - The only room that could contain me.  I eventually slid into the "Enchanter's Garden" to cool out.  While there I discovered a cruise liner made out of ice.

I went, briefly, to the Roman Forum in the evening; but only to stand on one leg.

When I got home I set to celebrating a sunny day by building a cloud the size of King Kong.  I am hopeful it will attempt to swat biplanes as they pass by the pages of history which stand high in the garden.

I sat at a table made from the thigh bone of a flesh eating dinosaur (even though I am a vegetarian).

I was the tea boy at first and was dangled in the teapot until properly brewed.  When I finally came out it was decided it was too warm for hot drinks and I had to pretend to be an ice cube.  This is something I find very easy to do.  I was rapidly promoted and ended the day as Lord Ice.

I came home and pulled my wife out of the fire.

I wish that the hole in the hedge by the woodmill was a hole in time itself and I would crawl out into my early life where all hedges had secret passages in them.

Talking of secret passages I made one between the cupboard in the shape of a gorilla in my studio and the invisible obelisk that I have sited in the garden.  I can now enter the garden without being seen.

At work I could run around on tracks like a model train.  I started off as a shunter but ended up as a "Battle Of Britain" class with a string of carriages.

When I walked the dog I pretended to be Poppy and she pretended to be me.  However, I was a bit annoyed when she talked to every stranger we met.

I weeded like an archeologist and made a number of important finds.  However, it was still very hot and June and I had to have Bedouin tents on our backs.  I put my finds in a camel's humps.

I followed the foot prints of the plant people who know all our secrets but they had already spoken.
 

In my studio I draw shapes in the air, blow lightly and they float onto the canvas like kisses.

Rain clouds marched across town but did not deposit enough water to put out the fires constantly burning on the heads of everyone walking down the street.

Out of the cuckoo clock came a dragon.  I thought this might be handy to light June's cigarettes but I am still hoping she will stop smoking.  If she does I am pretty certain that a Swiss railway will run down the hall and out through the kitchen.

In the kitchen red indians have set up their camp.  I am hoping to learn their language but for now I just drew signs on the floor.

I disappeared for a short time though the secret doorway in the garden pond.  I re-emerged as the Creature From The Black Lagoon, sung a song and disappeared again.  This was part of a new ritual of enlightenment I am initiating.

I threw a tractor tyre in the air and ate a doughnut.

Before breakfast I flew to the village of my childhood on a big bird - it was raining worms.  I had some time when I got back to continue building the fortifications around the hill that isn't there.

On the news, aliens on flying carpets (sickles in hands) are reportedly heading this way.  I noticed that the wheat is already ripening.